Friday, March 16, 2012

Strength of Perspective

WY I RUN... because each one means something different.

Wednesday: Easy Elliptical (45) and Bike Hard, same w/o as yesterday (45) and Swim at Lunch, 3200 M (60)
Thursday: Moderate Bike (60) w/ Core, hips and feet and then Walk (60) with 3 x 9 minute walk and 1 minute run
Friday: Moderate Elliptical (120) Tried my hardest to keep strides per minute at 180, but I also increases resistance, and felt low energy by the end. Adam and I had a swim lesson this afternoon. It was (60) session, but worked mostly on changing technique, ultimately being more efficient with every stroke and using less power to fuel the stroke. It takes patience, which is so hard for me. When I run, I try harder, I go faster... not in swimming.

Sometimes I wish I was born with the creative writing skills or writer's intellect of so many writers out there, but I wasn't. So sometimes I can't get my point across with quite the amount of 'umph' I had envisioned. With this said, I want to copy an excerpt from professional runner, Lauren Fleshman's blog about being an injured runner:

"Trying to fix a stubborn injury can be demoralizing.
And I’m not just talking about the crying in public, or getting passed by a nun with a limp while you stagger home from a failed run.
I’m talking about the bare-ass nakedness of your weaknesses getting exposed in the effort to return to health.
There are the physical weaknesses of course, (the reasons you got injured in the first place,) that are uncovered as soon as you go to a doctor or physical therapy.  As strange as it sounds, you go to these people hoping they find something wrong with you, thereby identifying at least one good reason why it’s taking you so freaking long to get healthy.
In no other area of my life will I pay money to have a person tell me straight to my face that I’m terrible at something, but when I’m at the doctor unsuccessfully attempting a “single-legged turn-a-ma-jigger” I want him to say, “You suck at that. That’s the reason you’re injured,” and when he does I want to jump up and give him a big fat kiss on the mouth, but also grab a hanky.
If an injury drags on and on, you get progressively less excited when someone uncovers a new “weakness” that might be the source of your problem: Weak glutes; muscle imbalances; scar tissue; fascia tightness; lack of flexibility; neural misfiring; bad motor pathway habits; lack of core strength.
Before you know it, you have a laundry list of issues and a binder full of strength exercises. After enough time, even if the therapy is world class, you start to feel like nothing works properly and you can’t understand how you ever ran well in the first place.
(She has written more in this specific post, but this introduces the thoughts throughout injury and is well articulated)

This is what I feel, hopeful moments do arise, like the start of cross training when you know you are helping the bigger cause, or when your doctor tells you that you can walk 40 min 3 x a week, when the pain no longer lingers, when your coach gives you some hope that if everything goes to plan (never happens) you could perhaps run a race in July. These small signs help keep me afloat when my biggest passion has been taken away.

As I slowly transition back into running, I have trepidations. I get nervous at any ache near my hip and think it is broken again and need to be deciphering between pain and paranioa. My biggest fear once I start running miles again is the loss of fitness. I know my heart will beat faster and my breath more labored at a slower pace than before the injury and this annoys the heck out of me. It will take time and like the swimming, patience to gain back speed to where I was. This pisses me off. But in the end, so much has come from this injury and it might have bought me more time in the long run in my running career (knowing that one or two days of rest is ok, since 3 months sucks) and I need to be aware of this. As frustrating as these months might be, as I struggle to maintain certain paces that came easily before, there is more to come and am hoping my fresh-ish legs can come back with a vengeance. Until then...

Lander Half Marathon 2010

Desseret News Marathon 2010

St. George Marathon 2010

Feel the burn. I can't wait for this sensation again
In other news, I am moving. The last few years have consisted paying rent in one location (with KP, my like-minded soul mate) and sleeping elsewhere, Adam's studio. Adam and I are finally taking the plunge as we move in together (an apartment with a room) in May. Will keep you posted with more exciting antics of my life

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