WY I RUN: "Real Runners Never Stop Dreaming, ever"
I am not sure why, but these past weeks have been the hardest part of recovery. Maybe because it is not so black and white and am running slowly on how I feel. Maybe because of the warmer weather and the dying ache to be out on the road. Maybe because I am ready to race and set some goals and it still doesn't even feel attainable. So many ideas wander in and out of my brain and when I thought I could see the finish line, I don't know if I can. It could be there, or that could be just another line on the road or it could be a bit farther off in a blur. I just don't know and this is just plain hard to cope with and simply sucks. I want to be running... not 5 min. here, not a whopping 3 miles there... I want my 50-80 mile weeks back. I know they will come one day even though they don't seem to be in sight right now.
For now, I need to be very disciplined sensing what hurts, what aches, and whether it is a stress fracture pain or rather little pings here and there and this scares the heck out of me and I don't feel like I can do it. But day by day, I slip in some running and have to 'play it by ear' which is good practice.
With these thoughts, my emotions have been off the wall from uncontrollable cry sessions to feeling a bit down. I am hoping it is some hormonal shifts going on, because that would a. explain some things and b. mean that I am on the right track.
** Edited to Add: I ran on Thursday and have some lingering pain. Will be in touch with my coach, but boy this is not fun.
Wednesday: Swim 2500 (45) and Elliptical Easy (45). Later I went for bike ride (60) with Lauren, a gal who works in admission. She kills in on the bike and I had some burning legs keeping up.
Thursday: Elliptical Moderate (60) with Core, Hips and Abs later did my 6x 5 min walk and 6 min run. It felt soooo good to be running, but I think I have some returning pain. Not the new I want.
Since not much happened this past week except some tears, I wanted to show everyone what I have resorted too in regards to my wallet. Lets note that I have an awesome Hobo Wallet, but I guess have decided it is too big.
I use this. An empty bag which once held a granola/energy bar that Lauren Fleshman makes, Picky Bar. I even come as far to duck tape this new found wallet.
In the words of NMWF (No Matter What Friend), "Oy Vey"